Koroks – once friendly and lovable little guys from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker – became loathed by many a Breath of the Wild player due to their ubiquity, obscurity, absurd number, and distinctive “yahaha!” cry (which many found annoying). The fellas return in Tears of the Kingdom, but instead of groaning, their return has elicited glee – namely, schadenfreude:
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present you the Korok Rotisserie machine. #ZeldaTearsOfKingdom pic.twitter.com/LCtsRdfGov
— Pory (@pory_leeks) May 11, 2023
You see, a common new type of Korok in the game is strapped to a backpack and seeking a way to reach their nearby friend. Link is supposed to use his Ultrahand ability on the backpack to attach them to some sort of device that will ferry them to their friend… but players would much rather submit the many hapless creatures to hells of their own devising. And let me tell you, these players are devising a LOT of hells:
Korok Space Program
by u/feel_your_feelings_ in tearsofthekingdom
Hope you don’t mind being used as a front bumper lil Korok HAHAHAHA pic.twitter.com/QbMuVUDAEx
— Exalted (@ValiantExalt) May 12, 2023
— Matt Robinson (@MattR644) May 14, 2023
Korok execution thread 🧵
Starting off with the Korok Firing Squad beta v4#TearsOfTheKingdom #Zelda pic.twitter.com/ucJlLYWHwr
— Oyff (@Oyffie) May 14, 2023
This is to say nothing of the crucifixions. Dear god, the crucifixions. In part because they’re so easy and simple to form (all you need is three logs or planks) but so laden with blasphemous cruelty (for reasons I hope you don’t need a games journalist to explain) droves upon droves of players have glued Koroks to crosses. Good lord.
Do you think the TOTK devs foresaw players crucifying koroks or were the QA testers not as blood thirsty as the average nintendo player pic.twitter.com/BuJp2jeBQP
— Buns (@SuperButterBuns) May 15, 2023
i love how i haven’t seen any actual story spoilers for totk its just shit like this pic.twitter.com/OW7XIivdAA
— ally ‼️ (@hoshiyukimethod) May 14, 2023
— Tuesday🐀 (@TuesdayLLC) May 14, 2023
I can't stop laughing help. I just crucified a korok in my Christmobile. pic.twitter.com/T5jpEqd9YX
— Aleph🌌Daimon – Dimensional Traveler (@AlephDaimon) May 15, 2023
Fanart i drew of the korok getting crucified #TearsOfTheKingdom pic.twitter.com/wVzvpx9gjy
— Willow (@Rad1umRaccoon) May 15, 2023
As you can guess, this is only a sampling of the sheer agony Tears of the Kingdom players are inflicting upon Koroks. It’s fortunate that the little buggers never die – fortunate for us, that is, so we can continue reveling in their suffering for a long time to come. For them, the fact that they can never perish and escape this mortal coil consigns them to a tormentous existence that the deepest layer of Cocytus could never hope to match. We can’t wait to see what kind of insane Rube Goldberg torture devices we see come out of this one.
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Written by Amelia Fruzzetti
A writer and Nintendo fan based in Seattle, Washington. When not working for NinWire, she can be found eating pasta, writing stories, and wondering about when Mother 3 is finally going to get an official localization.
