Welcome back to the Wire Weekly, where I, Ben “I owned but never played the original Mario Maker so you know what drag me” Fruzzetti, run through the week’s assortment of Nintendo news with what could charitably be referred to as wit, sarcasm, and personality.

Well, there was one item that dominated headlines this week, making waves that caused ripples across the globe for its sheer wonderment. I’m speaking, of course, of Geodude’s new position as tourism ambassador to Iwate Prefecture in Japan. The move by itself would just be a cute PR stunt, if it weren’t for the sheer majesty of Geodude’s transparent .PNG legs, which is a pragmatic artistic decision on the level of the finest renaissance masters. Visual poetry.

Humanity has peaked.

In other, lesser news, there was a Super Mario Maker 2 Direct. Neat! As I shamefully admitted above, I never actually played the original Mario Maker for Wii U despite owning it for some time, but I’m all in on this sequel. The addition of new items, enemies, themes, and features is really enticing; and it’s clear they’ve left the door open to a lot more possibilities with that “Extra Game Styles” category. What other Mario styles could we see? Super Mario Land? Super Mario Land 2? Maybe even Super Mario Land… 3??? Actually that one stars Wario, so maybe not.

We all know what we’re really getting. (Credit to Twitter user @JoeyPockett)

Maybe the most hype thing from the Direct to me is actually the Super Mario Maker 2 Invitational. Smash and Splatoon tournaments have been some of the most fun watches at E3 in between Treehouse segments, and I think the potential here for some quality content is high. My personal wish is to get some people outside of Nintendo’s wheelhouse to contribute levels. Which is code for “please let Matt Thorson (Celeste creator and Mario Maker master) do some levels; think of how dope that would be.”

Alternatively, give them only dumb challenges like these.

And now we’ve reached the point in the column where I must file a personal complaint with Nintendo over their new voucher deal. It’s essentially a bargain that pays for itself — if you already have shelled out $20 for NSO, you basically make the money back through this deal. But that’s the issue — I already own every title offered that I care about! How am I supposed to game the system if I already have all the games?

Or do they actually expect me to buy 1-2 Switch?

Besides the Direct, there honestly isn’t a whole lot. The only mildly noteworthy thing that really sticks out for me is the announcement of more Genesis Mini titles, which are, uh… neat, I suppose. Despite the Genesis being my first console as a tyke, I didn’t really play anything without Sonic the Hedgehog’s face emblazoned all over it, so I guess this is my chance to give other games a try. Like, uh… Mega Man: The Wily Wars?

They sure were wily, alright.

 
That’s all for this week! Tune in next time, as the lumbering behemoth of E3 draws ever closer. Until then!

 

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Written by Ben Fruzzetti

Gamer, writer and devourer of pasta. Whenever not letting his daydreams run out of control, he can be found writing for Nintendo Wire, playing old JRPGs, or reading sci-fi and fantasy novels and comics.

Ben Fruzzetti

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