Justice comes to all who err on the side of crime. It has been a known truth that one T. Yoshisaurus Munchakoopas, more colloquially known by the common nickname Yoshi, is a chronic tax dodger, avoiding audit after audit in a relentless and clever elusion of federal law. Part of the reason why is that the green menace’s public image has always been that of a squeaky clean (if gluttonous) reptile, simply content to munch on fruit and chill on his island all day. But the truth always comes out, and new evidence has been revealed that may put the diabolical dinosaur behind bars for good.

The folks over at Supper Mario Broth, who are better investigative journalists than I’ll ever be (note: this is the one part of the article I mean with complete sincerity), have unveiled a secret factoid about the felonious velociraptor that comes from the Wii edition of Fortune Street. Among the game’s 26 — 26! — characters, Yoshi is the only one who requests to be exempt from paying taxes upon the building of a tax office. The under-the-table bargaining is finally out in the open for all to see — the scaly horse is a crook!

It’s only a matter of time until the feds file charges against the wily green devil, hopefully making sure to also target his insider trading on Wall Street as well as his numerous offshore Cayman accounts through which he’s embezzled millions. Then we may finally see some economic justice in this world.

 

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Written by Amelia Fruzzetti

A writer and Nintendo fan based in Seattle, Washington. When not working for NinWire, she can be found eating pasta, writing stories, and wondering about when Mother 3 is finally going to get an official localization.

Amelia Fruzzetti