Welcome to Speedrun Sunday: that sadistic time of the week when we dare to challenge both your D-pad’s durability and sanity’s stamina with the ultimate test in video game bragging rights.

Hot off the hamster heels of our Kirby: Star Allies challenge comes another ruthless run that’ll leave you flopping feverishly in a puddle of your own ink. That’s right, fans of painted clumps and super jumps: We’re splashin’ down for yet another single-player swim in squid kid superiority.

THE CHALLENGE

Equipped with the Slosher, who can get the fastest time in Splatoon 2’s single-player Stage 7 [Back-Alley Cleanup ~ Suck It Up]?

Our claim to fame is 02:10, which shouldn’t be too hard to beat for all you slayers of the slosher. The inkling with the fastest time by 12:00 a.m. PT will win a coveted $10 eShop card (North America), along with the illustrious title Benevolent Brandisher of Buckets.

THE RULES

  • All participants must use the Slosher. Use of any other weapon won’t qualify you for today’s cash prize.
  • All submissions must be made using the Switch’s 30 second video capture feature ending with your Stage Clear time (as shown below). No photos necessary.
  • In the instance of a tie, we’ll settle things in Smash live later during the week using various level 50 amiibo representing the winners.
  • Feel free to improve upon and submit new scores as many times as you like.

Follow @NinWire and @tater_n_tots on Twitter and retweet this post to qualify for today’s cash prize. After that, simply share your video in the Twitter comments and we’ll personally send both your winnings and a social media shoutout within the week.

We’ll be keeping score right here in the article all day, too, so you can easily keep track where your top rivals rank. Also, feel free to tune in to our Splatoon 2 livestream at 9:00 p.m. PST where I’ll personally be contending alongside today’s top competitors for fame and glory. (Livestream may be cancelled this week due to Mother’s Day festivities. We’ll keep you posted).

So whaddya say? Ready to paint the town red with the ink of your enemies? To quote the DJ spinning cephalopod himself, “Time to drop the beatdown!”


Benevolent Brandisher of Buckets

1. @glaceonek [01:45]

Scavengers of Sloppy Seconds

2. @GamerAdvanced_ [01:46]
3. @carbondaddy [01:51]
4. @lilfruini [01:52]
5. @Snek_Splatoon [01:57]
6. @YuushiDaSuushi [01:58]
7. @ChaoGardenBust [02:09]
8. @tater_n_tots [02:10]

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Written by Matthew Weidner

When it comes to playing and writing about video games, Matthew aspires to be the very best, like no one ever was. Writing for Nintendo Wire and the thought of one day finally achieving a perfect, no death Super Meat Boy run fills him with determination.

Matthew Weidner