Ever since its release on Switch a few weeks ago I’ve been shamelessly obsessed with the slick and sticky platformer Slime-san: a game that quickly wormed its way into my heart thanks to its masterful melding of accessible antics, reflex-driven gameplay and penchant for punishment. Despite my intentions to storm Dr. Robargnarg’s lair in Sonic Mania or slosh buckets of ink on unsuspecting squid squads in Splatoon 2, I often end up consumed by the insatiable invertebrates innards for what I always assume will be just a few quick sessions of slime time. Meanwhile, three weeks later

In fact, I’ve become so enamored with the fate of the titular bouncing blob that I’ve actually began the long and treacherous journey of speedrunning his entire intestinal journey without losing a single life. Impossible, you say? Perhaps. Insane to the point you’d have to be out of your gourd to even try? You’re darn tootin’ it is. So far, I’ve fairly comfortably mastered the initial set of stages, but as any slime savvy player will tell you, the gargantuan worm’s digestive tract only gets more unsettling from there.

 

 
Which begs the question: Do you have what it takes to be a Slime-san master?

That’s right, dear reader. I challenge you to shatter my current record breezing through the first ten levels with nary a scratch on Slime-san’s malleable membrane for the ultimate claim in goopy glory. That may not sound like much, but rest assured, stronger mortals than I have already heeded the call and come back mere chewed up morsels of their former selves. The reward? A hearty pat on the back and knowledge that you completely obliterated the confidence of a lesser slime slinging enthusiast than yourself. Feel free to add insult to injury by eviscerating my paltry time of 6:33:30 while you’re at it. Bonus points if you, too, choose to crush it with your sentient slime donning a dapper top hat.

Due to the fact the Switch release doesn’t come packaged with online leaderboards like its Steam counterpart (fingers crossed for a future update), simply snap a screenshot of the speedrun menu containing your furthest slime-soaked stage reached with ‘No Death Run’ toggled on and share it in the Twitter comments for all the world to see. Have another gelatinous achievement you want to brag about? Share that, too! Seriously, I love hearing about the experiences of my fellow Slumptown patrons (and captives) when given the chance, so let’s pump this article with so much slime it’ll make early ‘90s Nickelodeon programming jelly with envy.

Who knows, if enough Slime-san fans are vocal, maybe a livestream containing a full speedrun of the game by yours truly can be in your immediate future…

Good luck, and godspeed!

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Written by Matthew Weidner

When it comes to playing and writing about video games, Matthew aspires to be the very best, like no one ever was. Writing for Nintendo Wire and the thought of one day finally achieving a perfect, no death Super Meat Boy run fills him with determination.

Matthew Weidner