Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door’s ESRB rating includes flirtatious dialogue

It’s not every day that a Nintendo game receives an ESRB rating that includes the description “flirtatious dialogue.” While it will be no surprise to fans of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, the upcoming Nintendo Switch remake just received its ESRB rating and the description is golden. Princess Peach is going to be angry with Mario next year.

While most of the description is average ESRB stuff, the parts that deal with dialogue are rife with shocking revelations. “A handful of characters engage in brief flirtatious dialogue” and “are design with large chests.” Sign me up! Mario’s having a wild night on the town, buddy!

Here is the full ESRB description for you to gawk at:

This is an adventure role-playing game in which players help Mario rescue Princess Peach from an alien group. As players traverse whimsical worlds, they interact with characters and engage in turn-/puzzle-based combat against paper creatures. Players use various attacks (e.g., boot stomp, hammer strike, fire balls) against cartoony enemies that disappear into stars and coins. A handful of characters engage in brief flirtatious dialogue (e.g., “Aren’t you a fine specimen of a man”; “Perhaps if I…grabbed you and gave you a little sugar”), and/or are designed with large chests/exaggerated proportions.

It goes without saying that the “exaggerated proportions” in question belong to the cloud known as Madame Flurrie, who’s known for her rather large… cumuli.