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Mario Party Superstars releases later this month on the Switch, so now makes sense as a time to release some commercials for the game, as seen in this seemingly innocuous 30-second advertisement:



But this TV spot raises more questions than answers: namely, how effed up would it be to actually play Mario Party in real life? Even the glimpses in the commercial seem unintentionally appalling – heavy golden coins the size of your head falling on you from the sky, dice blocks poofing in and out of existence as you punch them, Boos and other creatures assailing you at every turn… and that’s not even getting into the prospect of actually playing the minigames with your real, corporeal body. The amount of physical and mental harm you’d take would be excruciating. Thank god it’s only a video game, and thus you can only be harmed emotionally. The scars of star-stealing run deep.

Mario Party Superstars releases Friday, October 29th.


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Written by Amelia Fruzzetti

A writer and Nintendo fan based in Seattle, Washington. When not working for NinWire, she can be found eating pasta, writing stories, and wondering about when Mother 3 is finally going to get an official localization.