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I’m no sore loser by any stretch, really and truly. But sometimes Splatfest results just do not sit well with me. Sure, I could stomach more people liking ice cream more than cake (after all, that’s more cake for me), but this weekend’s Splatfest results are just. Not. Correct.


Pulp-free took the top spot in popularity, showing that the world can and does make sense sometimes. Where things fall apart is this rind riddled abomination winning both on the individual and team levels to secure an overall victory and give pulp fans something to feel good about for once (again, because they’re objectively wrong here).

Alas, there’s no crying in Splatoon 2, and I can at least appreciate another win for Pearl. So, “congratulations” to everyone who gets to finally feel good about their drink choice and not pretend they’re drinking some kind of sinful breakfast swill.


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Written by Ricky Berg

When he isn’t writing for Nintendo Wire, Ricky’s anticipating the next Kirby, Fire Emblem, or if the stars ever align, Mother 3 to be released. Till then he’ll have the warm comfort of Super Smash Bros. to keep him going.