Welcome to Speedrun Sunday: that sadistic time of the week where we occasionally dare to challenge both your D-pad’s durability and sanity’s stamina with the ultimate test in video game bragging rights.

Hot off the red-tinted heels of our irresponsibly speedy Sonic Mania challenge comes yet another ruthless run that will leave you sobbing in a tear-soaked puddle of your own filth. That’s right, fans of biblical poop monsters and manic matriarchs: we’re taking the apocalyptic crybaby on a traumatic trip through the depths of satan’s cellar in The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth+ to find the very best in divine durability.

THE CHALLENGE

What’s the highest score you can nab in today’s Binding of Isaac daily challenge?

Our claim to fame is 1798, which is admittedly terrible and not too hard to top for the truly decrepit and twitchy twin-stick blessed among you. (Feel free to study our much more successful practice run). Unfortunately, there’s no cash prize this week, though the participant with the highest score by the dawn of a new run’s day (6:00 a.m. ET) will be given the illustrious title of Bravest Boy To Ever Soil Their Slacks.

Remember, you only get one shot at proving your mettle in these Dailies, so make it count! Simply snap a screenshot of your leaderboard score or share a full recorded run of your fanciful feat in the Twitter comments and we’ll personally give a social media shoutout to the winner along with their hard-earned epithet. We’ll be keeping score right here in the article all day so you can easily keep track where the top five contenders rank.

So whaddaya say? Think you’ve got tears to spare? To quote the ominously accurate fortune telling machine itself, “YOU ARE THROWING YOUR LIFE AWAY.”


Bravest Boy To Ever Soil Their Slacks

1. @goatsndonuts [15349]

Mildly Brave Boys Who Desperately Need A Diaper Change

2. @cityw0k [1798]
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Written by Matthew Weidner

When it comes to playing and writing about video games, Matthew aspires to be the very best, like no one ever was. Writing for Nintendo Wire and the thought of one day finally achieving a perfect, no death Super Meat Boy run fills him with determination.

Matthew Weidner