In a continuing string of defensive remarks meant to assuage doubts but only stoking fears, Chris Pratt has assured us all that his Mario voice isn’t gonna be, you know, recognizable or anything. After producer Chris Meledandri defended Pratt’s casting as the iconic plumber (for the second time), Pratt himself commented on his “updated” voice for the role.

 

“I worked really closely with the directors and trying out a few things and landed on something that I’m really proud of and can’t wait for people to see and hear,” Pratt said. “It’s an animated voiceover narrative. It’s not a live-action movie. I’m not gonna be wearing a plumber suit running all over. I’m providing a voice for an animated character, and it is updated and unlike anything you’ve heard in the Mario world before.”

 

Unlike anything heard in the Mario world before is… Well, it’s a descriptor! What, is he gonna sound Irish instead of Italian? Will he have the usual Mario voice but use it to drop his usual sophomoric Prattisms? Is he going to say a swear? We can presumably rule the last one out, but no matter what I’m positively terrified. I cannot foresee an outcome in this that doesn’t trigger my fight or flight instincts. And the longer they go defending the decision without actually offering a sample of the Mario voice, the more we collectively live in fear.

The Mario movie releases April 7th, 2023.

 

Leave a Comment

Written by Amelia Fruzzetti

A writer and Nintendo fan based in Seattle, Washington. When not working for NinWire, she can be found eating pasta, writing stories, and wondering about when Mother 3 is finally going to get an official localization.