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Sonic fans have been divided on what elements should make up the franchise’s ethos for years, from how the Blue Blur controls to who should be playable in games to what mechanics or gimmicks should be present. But there are three rules that Sonic Team head Takashi Iizuka has that are sensible and I think we can all agree upon: one, Sonic must be fast. Pretty obvious. Two, Sonic cannot swim. Maybe not one we immediately think about, but even in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games he has to wear a floaty for swimming events. Third? Sonic won’t kiss another human. Probably.

This is obviously in reference to the infamous Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), which contained a climax wherein the game’s human Princess Elise kissed Sonic to bring him back to life. I don’t believe I’ve seen a single person ever speak of the scene with anything but revulsion, and Iizuka (who didn’t work on the game specifically) said that “I don’t think we’ll be doing that again.”

The human kissing rule actually doesn’t sound as hard and fast as the other two, though Iizuka’s delivery sounds almost like a dry, sarcastic understatement in text (though it’s hard to read tone when we only have words). While basically every decision regarding Sonic’s direction is divisive, I think Iizuka has found something we can all agree upon. Let’s pray that the axiom holds up for years to come.



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Written by Amelia Fruzzetti

A writer and Nintendo fan based in Seattle, Washington. When not working for NinWire, she can be found eating pasta, writing stories, and wondering about when Mother 3 is finally going to get an official localization.