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Welcome to Speedrun Sunday: that sadistic time of the week when we dare to challenge both your D-pad’s durability and sanity’s stamina with the ultimate test in video game bragging rights.

Hot off the dirt-clad heels of our gratuitously pestilent Binding of Isaac challenge comes yet another ruthless run that will leave you frantically floundering like a Cheep Cheep out of water. That’s right, fans of banana peel outs and well-timed Koopa shells: In commemoration of our Super September series, we’re taking the Mushroom Kingdom’s debut kart caper on a 16-bit trip down Rainbow Road lane to find the very best in retro racing.


Who can get the fastest time trial in Super Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road!

Our claim to fame is 1:45:80, which shouldn’t be too hard to top for the most gifted drifters among you. The Bullet Bill with the fastest time by 10:00 p.m. ET tonight will win a coveted $10 eShop card, along with the illustrious title of Spikiest Blue Shell To Finish First.

We don’t care which racer you use or what system you play it on (the game’s available on both the Wii U and 3DS Virtual Console, just a friendly reminder); just be sure to snap a screenshot of your leaderboard score or share a full recorded run of your fanciful feat in the Twitter comments and we’ll personally send both the prize and a social media shoutout to the winner along with their hard-earned epithet. We’ll be keeping score right here in the article all day, too, so you can easily keep track where your top five rivals rank.

So whaddya say? Think you’ve got enough star power? I don’t know why you’d even bother, because according to the Mushroom Kingdom’s most competent captain himself, “I’m the best!”

Spikiest Blue Shell To Finish First

1. @TalonYouTube [1:39:13]

Relentless Red Shells Hot On Your Banana Peels

2.@RStar5075 [1:39:83]
3.@MODnifique [1:41:52]
4.@cityw0k [1:45:80]
5. —


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Written by Matthew Weidner

When it comes to playing and writing about video games, Matthew aspires to be the very best, like no one ever was. Writing for Nintendo Wire and the thought of one day finally achieving a perfect, no death Super Meat Boy run fills him with determination.